5/14/10

My van is a magnet for Cling Ons

That is the kind of stinging creepy crawly insect variety that seem unusually attracted to my van.

A week ago, during piano lesson time, I took super girl to McDonalds. I thought I was being really smart with my parking choice. This time, I parked in the handicapped spot (Supergirl has Blue Handicap Placard). It's a little farther from the door but the last 3 times I parked closer to the door I ended up blocked by a delivery truck! So, I'm a little slow at this parking spot planning idea but by last week, I had learned my lesson. I didn't really pay attention to the fact that next to this particular spot is tree. Not just any tree though. A tree in bloom.

After she ate her chicken nuggets, and refilled my Dr. Pepper, we headed out to the van. To my *horror* there were not one, not two, not even three but FOUR, yes FOUR wasps who had decided that my van was the place to hang out.

One decided the door on driver side was the perfect place. Two more thought the driver side mirror was the coolest hanging spot while the the fourth horrible creature planted itself in the middle of the wiper blades on the front windshield wiper.

Well actually, I didn't notice *immediately*. I started to open the sliding passenger door on the driver side to help Supergirl get in and that's when I noticed them. Quick as I could, I closed that door and diverted supergirl to the other side. All the while wondering how *I* would get in without letting in any extra passengers. I opted for climbing in the sliding passenger door and sliding, with great difficulty, into the driver seat from the passenger side. I'm so thankful that the arm rests can be moved out of the way!

*sigh*.. so I'm in. She's in and so far no extra passengers. Time to pull out and hopefully those things will fly away. Except that the light is red and no one is moving and OH NO but one of the doors is NOT closed properly. The van is beeping at me because I'm trying to drive but the door isn't properly latched. Which door? The sliding door on the passenger side (oh please let it be this one) or the sliding door on the driver side (the side the cling ons seem to prefer). Instead of pulling out of the parking lot, I drive further into the shopping center to see if said creatures would fly away so I could close the door. No such luck. I finally pull into another parking spot.

My new dilemma: how to get the door properly closed without letting in any extra passengers. So I slide out of my driver's seat. Stooped over and in the middle of the van, I reach over to the sliding passenger side door. Quickly, I open and close the door. Lights are still on which means that it is the other side. The side with the stinging insect convention. The side that has Supergirl's booster seat. Reaching in front of my daughter and praying that I don't let anything in, I open the door and slam it shut. I say a prayer of thanks that I didn't slam any fingers or hands or other body parts in the door and that I didn't let anything else in either.

So I start to drive. Door is no longer beeping at me but now the gas gauge is letting me know that I will NOT have enough gas to get home after picking up 3 girls from piano lessons. Another dilemma: How to put gas in van when stinging creatures prefer to lounge on the same side as the gas tank. I keep driving. At first I decide that I will NOT get gas. Gas tank beeps and lets me know that this is really not an option. Then I decide that I will pick up girls and then figure out the gas issue. At least the girls can get in the van quickly on the wasp free side of the van.

Finally, I was able to get the van up to 40 miles an hour (the legal speed limit) and one by one the wasps got tired or bored or whatever and left. I was able to pick up the girls *and* get gas.

So, now today, having learned my lesson about wasps and trees and keeping in my mind my previously learned lesson about delivery trucks, I find a different parking spot. Supergirl enjoys her chicken nuggets. I enjoy my Dr. Pepper and we head to the van. To my delight there is neither a delivery truck nor a wasp convention. Yippee!! I found the right spot. So off we drive to pick up the girls. I park in my usual spot in front of Miss M's house. As I sit in the van and wait, what do I see? I'll give you a clue. It's ugly. It has yellow and black stripes. It has a yellow face. Did I mention that it is ugly? It stings. It is a yellow jacket and it is on my windshield. I am now staring face to face with this thing and I'm wishing it would fly away before the girls come out. I don't want to turn on the windshield wipers because I could just see the girls coming out just at the same time that I make this cling on mad. So I decide that since I am a little bit early I am going to drive around the cul de sac. Maybe it will leave. No. I can see that it is cling on for dear life. Since I am driving, and I feel safe, I turn on the windshield wipers. The stingy monster STILL CLINGS. After four or five hits with the wiper, the yellow jacket FALLS off. Whew. It's gone. I can go back to my post of waiting for my girls. So without much thought, I park..... in the exact same spot. I sit and I wait and oh no.. there's ANOTHER ONE! This one prefers the side mirror on the passenger side. I start playing with the mirror. I hope to crush or trap it as I move the mirror from side to side. Nope. So I move it up and down. This does have the desired effect and creepy crawly thing flies away. I decide I better move the van and do a quick drive around the cul de sac and this time I pull into the driveway. For the next 5 minutes or so I keep watch. When the girls come out, I roll down my window just a tiny bit and tell them to get in as quick as they can and close the door. Thankfully I add 3 daughters to my van and NO other creatures. With 4 daughters and no stinging creatures we head home to enjoy the beautiful sunny day.

1 comment:

  1. Now, if my oldest was in the van with you, he'd be making you find a water bottle or some other container so that he could catch the best specimen of each type...

    Yeah. Ask me how I know.

    Yuck.

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