5/19/11

Must. Calm. Down.

Right now I feel like life is just spinning out of control.  I’ve got so much on my plate and so much that I have to do.  My head is spinning as I try to figure out where to start.  Do I start with the last review I have due this week, or clean my bathroom?  Maybe I should start with doing school with Supergirl using the review products that have reviews due next week?  Maybe I should start with getting school done with Tailorbear who is finishing up her 6th grade work?

I am grateful the the sun is shining because that sunshine is keeping me from becoming MORE of a screaming maniac.  I am also grateful for blogging which at this very moment is helping me to sort out all this BLAH inside my head.

I keep asking myself two things:  HOW did the house get this messy and out of control? and WHY did we let it get this way?  I don’t like the answers that I hear quietly whispering in the back of my mind.  Can you hear the whispers?  Routines,  Habits,  Lazy,  Priorities, Lazy, Tired, Lazy, Routines, yes those are the words running and whispering and hinting inside my head. 

This isn’t a new problem for me.  I recognize the symptoms of the circle:  house starts to get out of control, I get discouraged, house gets more out of control, depression sets in,  house gets worse, more discouragement.

I know the solution.  I’ve actually started working on the solution!  I am participating in the 31-day challenge but the TIMING has been awful!  I’m trying to finish up our school year, finish up the Crew *AND* start a cleaning challenge?  I *should* just drop the cleaning challenge and focus on finishing school and crew but I can’t concentrate on the school or the reviews with the house in such disarray.

One more week.  Just one more week.  One more week of reviews due and one more week of “official” school.  I can do it.  I can do it because I’ll find my strength in Christ.  I think I know where to start now.  I’m going to find a quiet place and mediate on the Jesus prayer.  Then I’ll use the old stand by timer rule.  I’ll the set timer for a set amount of time and work on something.  And I’ll breathe.  Must remember to breathe.  Slow deep breaths.  Lord Jesus Christ, Have Mercy on Me a Sinner.

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