I never made it all the way through the alphabet last time. Maybe this time I’ll do better. Marcy over at Ben & Me finished up the alphabet, took a break and has re-started her Blogging through the Alphabet meme.
When thinking about what topics I do with the letter A, I kept coming back to acceptance. I keep thinking of the Serenity Prayer. For some reason I thought that St. Francis of Assisi wrote that one (along with the famous “make me an instrument of thy peace" which is beautiful and a favorite from my childhood.)
Anyway, when I was growing up I had this little plaque that read:
“God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.”
This has been a lifelong prayer for me and until I started this post I had no idea that a) it has a second stanza or b) it is so closely associated with AA and other 12 step programs. See, I really do live under a rock or in a cavern.
But neither the origin nor extra stanzas ,not even the shortened version, is really my topic today. My topic is Acceptance. And yes that shortened version has continued to be my prayer.
Acceptance of things that I do not like and that I cannot change has always been a struggle for me. I am very slow to accept things and usually I go through anger and depression before I finally accept them. (yes, it sounds like grief doesn’t it? Maybe I mourn the loss of control? Or the loss of something I wanted? I don’t know but I know it takes much time and prayer.)
So what exactly am I struggling to accept right now? Money. Or rather the lack thereof. We failed to accept that a cut in pay means a change in lifestyle or habits and continued to try to live as if our budget didn’t matter. It has caught up to us. (I knew it would sooner or later.) But now we are facing the consequences. I can’t change the past and I find it hard to resign myself to just accepting the past and moving on. Though I admit that now that we’re a month into our new budget, I find it easier to accept that we have to make changes. It’s just we’re having to make choices.
Some are easier than others. I just don’t want to accept the fact that I have to choose between buying a new hard drive for my laptop or fixing the van. I don’t like that I can’t have both and have them NOW. We’ll be ok though and I know it’s just a season. But I don’t have to like it right?
It’s a life lesson and one that I’d rather not have to accept but in the end I know it will all work out. God has always met every need we’ve had. I just have a hard time accepting that what I want isn’t always what I need.
Even in this past month I have been blessed by seeing God’s hand working in our lives. I know that at some point I will stop fighting and accept that this is just the way things are for now.