9/18/13

This College Thing Is Hard!

No not me.  I’m not taking college classes; Boobear is.  It’s hard for us as a family to adjust to this new season in life.  I know that with every new chapter of life it is hard at the beginning and I know that it gets easier as we get used to it but I found myself laughing at the advice given by one mom to another “it gets easier”.  This was mom with teenagers reassuring a mom with only elementary ages.  I laughed because for me the reality is no it doesn’t get easier.  It just gets differenter.  Oh sure some things are easier.  I don’t have to take them to the bathroom anymore.  I don’t have to wipe their noses or tie their shoes.  Nope. Now, I get to worry about other things and help them make the right choices without actually making those decisions myself.

We’re used to having all four girls at home. I mean really at home.  Not just living at home but gone all day.  Supergirl really misses having Boobear around.  Everyday she asks me if Boobear will be home for dinner and will she stay home tomorrow.  Most days I can say yes, she’ll be home for dinner but no she’ll be going to class tomorrow.

I am so excited for my oldest daughter who is pursuing her dream of getting a music degree. She’s already planning a trademark way to write her name for own piano studio someday. She’s making new friends and facing new challenges. This isn’t easy for her either.  She isn’t used to being away from home all day.  She isn’t used to spending time in a class and then spending hours doing home work out side of class.  She is however used to so much practice time.  She laughed when said she said her keyboarding class required an average of 5 hours a day of practice.  Why did she laugh?  Because that’s less than she was practicing before and more than enough time for her to do her keyboarding homework.

I have to confess though that this transition is good for all of us.  Seriously,  Boobear is a wonderful, helpful daughter and with her around it was easy to just let Boobear do the cooking.  Now the other two are getting necessary experience in the kitchen.  They are stepping up to the plate. (No pun intended.  Really!).

And it’s good for Supergirl. She needs to be less dependent on others and more self-reliant. We’re too quick to help her or to entertain her and she needs to be stretched and challenged.

Yes, it’s good for Honeybear and I as well. We need to learn to let go and let her be an adult.  We need to learn to find that balance of supporting and encouraging her while giving her room to make her own mistakes and learn from them.

But it’s an emotional rollercoaster and I feel like I have some type of mental illness.  Crying one moment because she’s grown up and then laughing with joy over her excitement as she shares about a fun moment in her favorite class and then frustrated beyond measure when I see her making a choice I think is wrong for her.

I know this part will get easier.  Just in time, I suspect, for the next child to go off to college. And then things will get hard again when we enter yet another new chapter of life.

5 comments:

  1. My kids are only 6 and 4 right now. I am in no hurry to see them grow up! I can't imagine the emotions you must be having right now. :( This "growing up" thing is hard!!

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  2. Oh gosh, I can't even think about them growing up. Sounds like you're doing a stellar job, momma!

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  3. With my oldest being only 8 I've got a ways to go, but I can't imagine what it will be like. I don't like to leave my kids for simple things I can't imagine them gone all day!

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  4. It is such a challenging transition but a needed one. It sounds like you are both doing a GREAT job at it! Praying for her and you! I have been there, and am still doing it! ;)

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  5. I don't do well with changes -- especially when it's more differenter than it was when my kids were younger.

    I'll be praying for all of you to adjust quickly.

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